NASA May Be Prosecuted for Death of Brian the Bat

Multi-million dollar anti-bat mesh to be built around Ares rocket before launch.

NOTE: The message that follows was part of the Universe Today’s April Fools. I hope you had a giggle. However, the Brian Bat Foundation is real, and the little animal will be forever remembered…

Well, I didn’t see this coming. On setting up the Brian Bat Foundation, I was sure NASA was not to blame for Brian’s sad demise. However, a Florida state official has started legal proceedings against the space agency.

According to Florida transport law, if a truck hits an endangered animal on state highways, the company is liable. As NASA is the state’s (actually, the world’s) largest “logistics company”, it too falls under the umbrella of this little known animal protection technicality.

“NASA enjoys total freedom of the airspace above the state, however the agency must still abide by the laws of the state, no matter how insignificant the rules may appear when compared with the endeavors of US activities in space.” — Statement by the District Attorney’s Office, Florida

In response to the surprise legal action, NASA has already put together a solution that will rid the future Constellation launchpad of any more roosting bats like Brian. There are also plans in place to hinder access to the pad by smaller mammals and reptiles. According to a Cape Canaveral launch safety officer, a lot of time is spent on the gruesome task of removing the carcasses of rats, mice, gophers and rabbits. “If you thought roadkill was bad, imagine it roasted,” the officer added. The proposed Ares anti-bat mesh suddenly seems like a step in the right direction (pictured top).

So, it would appear Brian was only the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps the well publicised death of the little guy wont be in vain after all…

For more details on this breaking news story, check out “NASA Could be ‘Criminally Negligent’ Over Brian the Bat Death,” at the Universe Today.